I have continued to have an internal struggle, accompanied with doubts about Sadie and if she is a fit for the purpose I have in mind for her. Her continued inability to allow love into her world, filled with insecurity and fear, did not mix with the partnership I had in mind.
Then, there was an energy shift. I changed my approach towards her. I began to notice that my sometimes loud presence was too much for her. Jay (TH gelding) is unaffected. Sadie, being more of a sensitive, introverted type, needed a softer approach. For pin dropping was noticeable to her, when, for Jay, a mariacha band presence leaves little affect on him. So, I have been learning to dial it down, to recognize the subtle cues of Sadie and her fears, and responding to the pin drop approach. I have been learning to accept her as she is. That she will probably never be affectionate and loving like my sweet Jay, so I began to view her strengths, and not focus on what I perceived to be less than what I expected. I began to develop a connection with her.
A LOVING connection, given by me and accepted by her. It was working! By addressing the possibility of physical needs affecting behavior, along with allowing and accepting her as she is, she became more willing to allow love, as well as return it towards me. I respected her wishes to not be loved, and simply continued to offer love to her in a way that did not threaten her or her wishes. Whispering sweet nothings and accepting words, Sadie began to approach me, asking for my love. And so began our journey together to connect in a way that was acceptable for both of us.
Since then I have had several snuggles, some soft nibbles, and asking for my attention and love.
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