By Diana Wanamaker
Dear Sadie Lou,
a hand reaches out
feel it’s warmth encircled in love
shuffled from home to home
the touch that leaves it’s sting of betrayal
feel the hand that leaves scars
the ghost of trust leaves its distant shadow
Why open again to another hand of trust
again they will leave
again they will betray
Why invest outside of the inner world
raise your guards
put on your armor
never give in again to the hand of trust
that leaves it’s silhouette of darkness
open the door
view the crack of light that circles the room
allowing the past, opening the future
stand still in the history
or move forward into hope
There lies the history of your world with each time you turn away, each time you walk in fear. Your uncertainty of ever allowing to trust again is shown in your escape. Your inner world only opens to the external light when your guard is down. You yearn for the warmth of love, but place a shield around your heart. In small sequential steps you allow to be seen for all you have to give in return. The past dictates the fear that envelops your outermost world. Uncertainty and mistrust have become your faithful guides. It is a see saw of caution and trust. Acting committed, feeling doubt. All you knew speaks louder words than what your present world offers.
Why trust again? Why open up again to another person when it always ends. There is no forever. There is only today. Life passes by with no commitment’s, easily passed on from one place, one person, to the next. There is no real nirvana relationship. To risk again is for the sake of love and the escape of the isolated world of fear.
It will always be with you. You have come a long ways. You will see again the goodness of other’s.
You cannot be told to love again, only time and trust writes that story.
Shall you imagine a world between us where only love wins. Where you may give all that can be returned. May the past lower it’s shield and open it’s gates to a relationship that will allow us both to live in peace forever. To a paradise where dreams speak softly. Where a hand only strokes in kindness. Where trust is the foundation. And love wins.
I wrote this recognizing what I saw in Sadie is what I too am, and what I too have experienced. It has come to this point in my life, where there has been so much hurt, so much betrayal and deep loss (particularly life long friendships) that I too had come to a place where I did not want to trust again. I too walk in caution with each new person I meet. Excited about the new possibilities of new friendships, yet cautioned by each new step I take forward. Mirror, mirror was a look at how Sadie and I share the same history that has taken us to the same place in life today. How we each desire to overcome it, and live beyond it.
Copyright September 19, 2015. All Rights Reserved