Too many hurts and losses of friendships in 2014. As every friendship I knew disappeared as quickly as they came in. Some that were a lifetime, some that were new and developing. They say that time is supposed to heal you, but at times the pain pays a revisit.
I often find this correlation between life and all it’s challenges from the relationship with my horses. Here is what I have learned…..(thus far)
No relationship is easy. Not even with our horses. There are times when it is more work, more money, and more time, like any relationship. Sacrifices are made. There are times when we are giving more then getting. It stretches and tests our own humanity and compassion for another. Times when we question if it is all worth it.
Remembering measurement is not always in the now, but the cumulation of moments past, and those times yet to come. Moments of struggle rarely last forever. Value of another’s life is not the total sum of what they are always giving to us, but the relationship as a whole.
There is no question where there are those relationships that certainly are disposable for the weight and burden of what is lacking is far greater then what they bring to a relationship. Holding on for the mere sake of holding on, no longer makes sense.
But with our horses, they age, they become sick, injured and the weight of responsibility to care for them is greater then we can bear at times. Now all of a sudden, because they have nothing to bring to the relationship, such as unable to ride, to some, they are no longer of value. Disposing of them as if their life no longer matters. As if all those moments of giving they offered years before have lost their value.
I often see this correlation in friendships and intimate relationships. Once a mistake is made, once a friendship is struggling, many just place value on that moment of brokenness, pushing aside all the years that the relationship has offered value. All forgotten as quickly as the snap of your fingers.
We live in a disposable society. There is no honor in loyalty. Very little is tolerated, when it is broken, sick or no longer meets our needs. We throw it, replace it, divorce it, break-up with it, dismiss it, leave it, ignore it and walk away from it.
Relationships are HARD! From human to horse. It is not all glory. There are times of cussing, tears, anger, defeat, hurt, and the visiting thoughts of giving up.
What is important is to embrace the humanity of ones self. For relationships inevitably will change, not always in our favor, but in the light of humanity.
Every living creature, no matter how broken, sick, lame or unusable to us, still has value. Every friendship or partner in life will test us, make mistakes, and come to a brink of intolerance. Only those that can withstand the tests of time and change will be left. It is only our heart and soul that measure that. It is seen through the eyes of another.
By Diana Wanamaker
Copyright June 25, 2017
All Rights Reserved