Tag Archive | acceptance

The Gift of Acceptance

Image -acceptance

By Diana Wanamaker

About a year ago I started a ritual of writing any worry I had that seemed to place power over my world and put it in a box. A box that meant something special to me and represented something happy. I would ask question’s of what seemed impossible doom. There was one question that had been weighing heavy on my mind for a long time. It’s unwelcome arrival would likely offer more then I could overcome. It would change my life as I know it. All would be lost. Survival would be unbearable. These are facts of such a tragedy. No matter how I imagined myself in this tragedy, it never could offer much hope for a life of any kind.
I fought and fought every way imaginable to prevent this tragedy from happening, but no matter how much I did, no matter how many solutions I came up with, the result was the same. Inevitable doom. I couldn’t just accept it, I had to take action to prevent this. I must! Everything that was important to me was at stake. I fought for years to make changes, but no matter my solution, it was never good enough, the doom would still arrive.
Each time this worry or any worry like it came to my mind, I wrote it down and put it in the box. Each time giving it less power. It was months later that I came to the point where I realized there are no answers to this inevitable doom. I must give in.
I became weary, tired, exhausted and hopeless over the forthcoming fate. So, then I just began to picture myself in this unfortunate doom. I pictured myself somehow surviving. I pictured myself living it. By allowing it’s presence I found some peace. I found some quiet to the overwhelming power of this inevitable doom. It became less and less noisy in my mind.
Then came the acceptance.   I came to realize not all the answer’s of ‘why’ would come now, maybe never. I could ask, but to put it out there without an answer was crucial. No matter the little power I had over the future I better live the best life I know how today, for tomorrow may not bring another day like it. I accepted this inevitable doom as my fate in life. There was nothing more I could do to prevent it and there was little I could do to prepare for it. With that, I took away it’s power, I took away it’s strangle hold on me.
Then began the glory of faith for most days, instead of the darkness of doom. I was no longer hanging on the edge of the cliff waiting to be dropped to the bottom. I allowed my days to be taken by the sweet wings of faith. To have it’s miraculous world of wonder safely place me on the ground, balanced again.
Then, to my surprise came an answer.  I had started by placing the concerns of tomorrow on a card and released it the confines of the worry box. The worries of yesterday had cultivated an answer by the mere release of acceptance. A solution gently arrived. One that me nor any brilliant person would have imagined or thought of. That is the promise of faith. It delivers, but how and when, one never can tell, no matter the brilliance of an imaginative or logical mind. Today a solution was brought to my world and whisked away the doom that has been haunting my world for years of agony. Just by standing aside and letting go with a little acceptance I allowed faith to be my fate.

Copyright April 2015. All Rights Reserved

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Mule Musings

Photo -Sadie Lou in paddock

I have continued to have an internal struggle, accompanied with doubts about Sadie and if she is a fit for the purpose I have in mind for her. Her continued inability to allow love into her world, filled with insecurity and fear, did not mix with the partnership I had in mind.
Then, there was an energy shift. I changed my approach towards her. I began to notice that my sometimes loud presence was too much for her. Jay (TH gelding) is unaffected. Sadie, being more of a sensitive, introverted type, needed a softer approach. For pin dropping was noticeable to her, when, for Jay, a mariacha band presence leaves little affect on him. So, I have been learning to dial it down, to recognize the subtle cues of Sadie and her fears, and responding to the pin drop approach. I have been learning to accept her as she is. That she will probably never be affectionate and loving like my sweet Jay, so I began to view her strengths, and not focus on what I perceived to be less than what I expected.  I began to develop a connection with her.
A LOVING connection, given by me and accepted by her. It was working! By addressing the possibility of physical needs affecting behavior, along with allowing and accepting her as she is, she became more willing to allow love, as well as return it towards me. I respected her wishes to not be loved, and simply continued to offer love to her in a way that did not threaten her or her wishes. Whispering sweet nothings and accepting words, Sadie began to approach me, asking for my love. And so began our journey together to connect in a way that was acceptable for both of us.
Since then I have had several snuggles, some soft nibbles, and asking for my attention and love.

Copyright June 2015. All Rights Reserved