Tag Archive | grief

The Sweetness of Grief

Photo -Lexi

By Diana Wanamaker

A celebration of love, yet mine still aches for the love I have lost, as well as celebrate that love that lives here with me and in memory. Death has a way of awakening life into any emotions and thoughts that have been unattended to. It also can bring new perspective’s into the life that is present. Viewing it’s mysteries, along with path and quest to continue on with a life and all it has to offer, while honoring what has passed, as well as what may never come.
Lexi and I are doing better, as the day’s pass by. I have joined the living again, and been busy with life and work. Busy has a certain appeal after a death. It anesthetize’s the feelings of grief and the overwhelming desire to just stop moving. It also has a propelling movement that keeps life in motion. As the busyness stops, what is unattended to in grief, allows it to be again. As the busyness starts again, it offer’s the movement and sweetness of life and all that is to come.
Lexi cried for Thea non-stop, thru the night for over a week. She was glued to my side each moment I was there, crying each time I could not pay attention to her. I held her and cuddled her and talked to her of where Thea was, and that she will never return. Lexi did not understand this thing called death. All she knew was that she was alone.
So, bit by bit, day by day, we each grieve Thea, but also move on.
Grief is what it is. It’s visit and all it encompasses is no stranger to me. Allowing, honoring and releasing all that it brings. Enjoying all the new perspectives it brings to living!

Copyright February 2016. All Rights Reserved

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Rainbow Bridge -Thea

Photo -Thea laying in sun

Thea

By Diana Wanamaker

Dearest Thea,

Her life with me began on Dec. 23, 1999 and our life together ended on Jan. 31, 2016.
She lives on in memory and spirit.

As time moves further away from the time you passed, I continue to grieve the absence of your companionship. Life calls as usual to continue with the business of living, but your memories are forever preserved. I recall those times that bring smiles to my face and warmed my heart. I understand your purpose in my life with more clarity, as I learn to fill the hole of what once was. I still have Lexi (my other cat) by my side and she too misses the only kitty friend she knew.

I come to remember all the times over the past 16 yrs. you were always there watching over me. Every night I loaded up my supplies and put on the layers of clothing to go to the barn. There you were to see me off. Each time you watched me leave. Each time you sat on the chair by the door till I returned. Oh, how I miss you being there. I remember how each night you came to sleep by my side in my bed. As I watched TV till I dozed off, you too would glare at the TV, as if you were enjoying the show as much as I was. When I was sick or sad or unsure of what life was to bring next, there you were by my side. My guardian angel, comforting me with your loyalty and steadfast love. You graced your love upon many other’s thru our life together. Giving your personality with playfulness and your quiet but cute frolics. The ever famous poses of character you offered to bring joy and laughter to my world. Stretched out and positioned as if you were a wire sculpture that was shaped for the mere purpose of laughter. There you were through each move, each life transition, loss, celebration and holiday. I will never forget how you would look into my eyes as if I was the most adoring being ever in your life now and forever. As a baby looks into the eyes of it’s loving mother, I felt your love for me each moment we glanced at one another. It was the last memory I had of you, as you quietly slipped away to a place where you can live young again!
Each time I remove a remembrance that you were here, my heart sinks and longs to see you again. Your bowl still sits where it always has. Each time I clean the litter pan, I am reminded you are no longer here with us. But thru pictures and memory you live on in my heart, never to be without the gratitude of how from that moment I found you in the pet store, you had already won my affection, and would for years to come.
I hope that I was more than enough for you. I hope that I gave all you needed more times than not. I hope that you forgive me for all the mistakes I made. For all the times I pushed you away from the busyness of time, when you wanted nothing but my warm lap to lay on. I hope you forgive me for my impatience at you, during times of stress and worry. I hope that you forgive me for any thoughts that did not serve your best interest and were merely thoughts of relief for my own self interest and financial worries. I hope that I was there for you more times than not. I hope that in your last days and hours I showed you as much love, devotion and loyalty that you offered to me all these years. I hope that wherever I lacked in your care and giving love, you now receive all of that and more in this place over the Rainbow Bridge.

With all my most sincere love,
your dearest friend and companion

Love forever and always,
Diana

Copyright February 2016. All Rights Reserved