Tag Archive | love

Rainbow Bridge -Thea

Photo -Thea laying in sun


By Diana Wanamaker

Dearest Thea,

Her life with me began on Dec. 23, 1999 and our life together ended on Jan. 31, 2016.
She lives on in memory and spirit.

As time moves further away from the time you passed, I continue to grieve the absence of your companionship. Life calls as usual to continue with the business of living, but your memories are forever preserved. I recall those times that bring smiles to my face and warmed my heart. I understand your purpose in my life with more clarity, as I learn to fill the hole of what once was. I still have Lexi (my other cat) by my side and she too misses the only kitty friend she knew.

I come to remember all the times over the past 16 yrs. you were always there watching over me. Every night I loaded up my supplies and put on the layers of clothing to go to the barn. There you were to see me off. Each time you watched me leave. Each time you sat on the chair by the door till I returned. Oh, how I miss you being there. I remember how each night you came to sleep by my side in my bed. As I watched TV till I dozed off, you too would glare at the TV, as if you were enjoying the show as much as I was. When I was sick or sad or unsure of what life was to bring next, there you were by my side. My guardian angel, comforting me with your loyalty and steadfast love. You graced your love upon many other’s thru our life together. Giving your personality with playfulness and your quiet but cute frolics. The ever famous poses of character you offered to bring joy and laughter to my world. Stretched out and positioned as if you were a wire sculpture that was shaped for the mere purpose of laughter. There you were through each move, each life transition, loss, celebration and holiday. I will never forget how you would look into my eyes as if I was the most adoring being ever in your life now and forever. As a baby looks into the eyes of it’s loving mother, I felt your love for me each moment we glanced at one another. It was the last memory I had of you, as you quietly slipped away to a place where you can live young again!
Each time I remove a remembrance that you were here, my heart sinks and longs to see you again. Your bowl still sits where it always has. Each time I clean the litter pan, I am reminded you are no longer here with us. But thru pictures and memory you live on in my heart, never to be without the gratitude of how from that moment I found you in the pet store, you had already won my affection, and would for years to come.
I hope that I was more than enough for you. I hope that I gave all you needed more times than not. I hope that you forgive me for all the mistakes I made. For all the times I pushed you away from the busyness of time, when you wanted nothing but my warm lap to lay on. I hope you forgive me for my impatience at you, during times of stress and worry. I hope that you forgive me for any thoughts that did not serve your best interest and were merely thoughts of relief for my own self interest and financial worries. I hope that I was there for you more times than not. I hope that in your last days and hours I showed you as much love, devotion and loyalty that you offered to me all these years. I hope that wherever I lacked in your care and giving love, you now receive all of that and more in this place over the Rainbow Bridge.

With all my most sincere love,
your dearest friend and companion

Love forever and always,

Copyright February 2016. All Rights Reserved


For the Love of my Horse


By Diana Wanamaker

That’s a lot of work they say. But they do not understand what joy and purpose it brings to my world. They shake their heads at how I choose to feed horses day and night, no matter the day, no matter how late or how early, I am there 365 days/year (2x/day). But they do not understand that they are my family. It is not work, it is a steadfast commitment to beings that bring to me what no others do.
Over and over again I hear, that’s a lot of work taking care of horses. I weigh heavy in my heart how they do not understand that they are the air I breathe, they are a connection that words barely touch on. They are my heart, my soul, my life! I would have it no other way.
That’s a lot of money they say. They are expensive, they say. Get rid of the horses they say and you can pay more bills and have more money for this and that. But they do not understand that these sentinent beings that have graced my life are dependent upon me to be there for them. They are not just material things you place on a shelf and watch the dust collect. They are not just a few moments of euphoria at a store as you buy the newest and latest things. There life sings in my heart day and night, throughout the year. They feel, they love, they hurt, they have needs and wants and joys as do I. We travel together in this journey of life and without them along my side, would be a world without much left to even behoove existence to my world.
Do they not know what passion and dedication that is driven purely by unselfish means looks like? Do they not know that in my world there is no other deeper connection then the connection with my horses (and mule). They are not just work, they are not just more bills being paid, they are my family. And my devoted commitment to them is till death do us part. It is not a light hearted decision, it is one that reigns without much thought. It just is.
So, the next time you shake your head at how I have horses to feed, or all you can think about is how much work they are (as if they somehow had to do this work?), or how much money they cost, or how I have to haul manure out across a 5 acre pasture each day, know that this narrow minded vision of what is viewed of my life with horses is not understood by even the slightest perception. If you can not take off your colored glasses and see beyond what is there in this love I have for my horses, then you have little to no understanding of me or who I am, at the slightest.
I think we all can view another’s life, at times, and say, “I don’t know how you do that?” “It is so much work!”. I see people with kids and families of their own, and I am exhausted just looking at how much they have to do within a 2 hour time frame, let alone a lifetime. The expense’s of having a family is beyond anything I can fathom. The long hours of full-time work, taking care of a home, kids, husband (or wife), etc. I am exhausted just thinking of it.
But so many of you choose this with glee all around, proudly displaying your family and the voyage of a lifetime creating memories and impacting another’s life forever in your world. I look time and time again at all the families that people have. It is a joy that you share it and I can see how your world sings with elation. How much pride and recognition there is to have a family, home and husband/wife/children! It is what so many have and so many delightfully embrace each day. There is nothing like it. No questions as to your choice’s. No question as to the work involved. The dedication. The heartaches and the disappointments, and the devotion of time, energy and money it takes to have a family of your own. I look at it and the pictures speak all the words. I look at it and I too wonder how so many of you raise families in such a world of being overly busy. But the joy and delight that is shown proudly displaying your pictures of your families needs no explanation. There is nothing like family. How precious they all are.
But they say to me, “It’s just a horse!”. But what I see is that there are many similarities between our worlds and there is probably few experience’s with your family, that I cannot relate to with my horses. There is no dividing of differences for me. It is not only a choice, but a lifetime dedication to them, as you have to your family’s.
See…my life is not graced with children, a husband, or even a significant other. I have few friends, nor a large immediate family that I can embrace. Life did not defer me with such a life. I do not have extended family to share the joy of having so much family around as I raise children. I do not have a large network of friends that comes from being connected to so much family.
My family is my horses, my animals. They are my children. They are what brings that much desired connection to have a family of my own.
So, the next time you shake your head at how I have this duty to my horses, know that what you envision about me with my horses is what you have chosen. Know that the fondness and love that graces your hearts from your families, also does for me with my horses. Understand that the devotion, the patience, the love, time, energy and money that is fully dedicated to the love of my animal family, divides out no differently than it does for you and your families.
Understand that it is the similarities in life is what bring unity and peace and togetherness. It is the recognition of
differences and the argument of those differences is what brings segregation, detachment and parting of worlds.
Understand that what lies in my heart with my horses is not a just a choice but it is the very life of my being.
It is the knowing of those similarities that bring unity in our choices.
May those similarities bring more understanding that my horses are as much a part of me, as your families are a part of you.

Copyright Dec. 2015. All Rights Reserved


Image -cat who has lived hard life.

By Diana Wanamaker

They placed him outside of what he once knew as a home. A home where he was kept warm and loved by a family of his own. One day they packed their belongings up and drove away, never to think another thought of him again.
Bewildered and cold he was forced to survive on his own. The streets offered no comfort or support and his heart sank, as the days passed and there was no return of his family. It was each to his own out there and hunting quickly became a way of life for him. The landscape of the city bellowed sounds of a place with no soul. Guns shot off, sirens screamed and more than we will care to know became his new world.
For 2 yrs. he lived at this home, waiting for his family to return. And what I am about to tell you next will leave you with little hope of humanity, but his spirit and will to survive will offer inspiration.
A neighbor, one day, watched as a man took a shovel and repeatedly hit him over the head. They took his broken body to a Vet and reported the individual who had brutally beaten him. His skull had been cracked open and he went thru thousands of dollars of cost. $6,000 was his ending vet bill and his life renewed by a Vet that is unknown. They called him “Miracle”.
His new life began at Guardian Angels shelter and he was adopted to a new family. A family that loves and adores him. He lives safely now, and today has a forever family.

*A story I rewrote from a story I had heard about. The origin I am unsure of.  The picture is not the actual picture of the cat mentioned in this story.

The Love Story, Con’t.

Jay grazing with herd

By Diana Wanamaker

More on the Jay & Meisha Love Story……….
Was at the barn today picking up manure in one of the big pastures. It was only Jay out there. The herd had moved to the other side of the barn in the much larger pasture. Jay’s mare, Meisha had become separated from Jay and had started calling to him. She was unable to see him in the pasture, her view was blocked by one of the run-in sheds. She cried and cried for him. I was finishing up my manure clean up.  The barn was quite a distance to walk to, from where I was. I decided to wait till I was done with clean up, to help Meisha, if she hadn’t found Jay by then. Jay was near me, near the herd.
I said, “Jay, answer her!”. HIs head would come up, but he continued on his grazing with little concern. She started to become frantic and I could hear she had moved to the other side of the barn, still crying and looking for Jay. I came in from the pasture (clean-up done!) and started looking for Meisha, so I could take her out to Jay. Couldn’t find her.
I looked out to the much larger pasture, at the herd, from a distance. I spotted Meisha! She had gone out to the the herd to seek out Jay and had not found him. She had started to walk back to the barn, her head was hung low and she looked exasparated.
I called to her, her head came up, and she started trotting towards me. She knew that where I was, Jay was not far to be found. Her trot became a canter and she quickly made it back to the barn(and for Meisha whose balance is not 100%, that was quite a feat).
She continued to cry to Jay, looking around, ‘where is he?”, “where is he?”. All the goats following in her footsteps. I walked out to the pasture and she followed me, she spotted Jay. Had one last cry to him, Jay raised his head, and within moments all was well in Meisha’s world again.
I left with a smile on my face, seeing Jay & Meisha quietly grazing with the goats near by, peacefully enjoying their own family.
I have fallen in love with this sweet mare, Meisha and find humor in the goats and their devotion to Meisha! Each day I am fascinated & moved by this family Jay has acquired at this new farm.

Copyright October 2013. All Rights Reserved


A Love Story

Jay with meisha 8-9-13

By Diana Wanamaker

I had recently moved my gelding Jay to a new farm that was filled with rescue horses. A large farm with over 21 horses and ponies combined, on 80 some acres. Having Jay in a large herd was his first time, and I was excited that he would be surrounded with so many horses, like horses are built to do. He was slowly introduced to the herd and finally released amongst all the horses and ponies. Days and weeks went by and he did not adjust well to being around such a large herd of horses. I would often find him a distance from the herd, in a separate pasture, or trying to join the pony herd. He was not fitting in too well and his stress was increasingly noticeable.
Left with no other options, we decided to introduce Jay to Meisha. Meisha was a sweet, senior, Arab mare that was kept in a small barn and pasture, with her goat companions. They followed her around like she was their mother. She had a neurological issue that would cause her to just fall to the ground, unexpectedly, and then would be unable to get herself up. It was due to her condition, that she was not let out in the pasture with the rest of the herd.
So, my sweet boy Jay and sweet, gentle Meisha were introduced. It was love at first sight. Each of them finding a place where they fit in, with each other. Together they formed their own herd, and together they would graze in unity, in eyesight of the larger herd. They found a place in their world, where they belonged, despite their handicaps and differences that made them slightly unusual from the crowd.

So began the love story of a 43 yr. old Arab mare and Jay, a sweet TH gelding.
She is so ecstatic to have Jay as a buddy, you will see her sometimes cantering in the field, to keep up with Jay, as if she is a young filly again!  Inseperable, they found unity from a world they were divided from.  Where Meisha was, Jay was. Where they were, the goats were close by. Together they formed their own world of togetherness and all was well.
Then, one day, Meisha and Jay were grazing on a hill, in the apple orchard. She had toppled over, underneath the apple trees and couldn’t get back up. There were people on the farm that would come out periodically to check on her, but sometimes it could take up to an hour before she was discovered.  Meisha layed on the hill waiting for help. Who do you think stayed by her side the entire time till help could come?  Jay.  Never leaving her side, till the farm owner found her and got her back up. Just like I knew he would.

Copyright August 2013. All Rights Reserved

Internal Bliss

Image -rocking chairs on porch

By Diana Wanamaker

I dream of one day going away. Disappearing with no footprint’s left behind. Starting all over again. Meeting new people who know me for who I really am and who I am today, not of yesterday’s past. I dream of being around people who appreciate me for who I am, not who they want to shape me into being, and not what I can do for them. A place where people are kind, loving supportive and accepting. Tales may be told of yesterday’s past, but life is lived presently in the joy of the moment and the great promise of a bright future. Creating a whole new life with new friends and surrounding myself around people who are like family and accept me as that forever. A life where love wins over all. Relationships that are seen in 3D, not with the distance of computer’s and busy life styles. A time where fun is in abundance and I am adored by those all around me.
As I travel to find this place of bliss, I leave a footprint that is forever missed in the heart’s of those I encountered. People see me thru the light of a new day, and not of the darkness that once shadowed my world.
Oh, how nice it would be to escape all that around me and start again.

I have created this life before me by surrounding myself with people who needed help. I was there to offer my help, my support, my love and all they needed time and time again. I loved them as if they were my family, comforted them, as if they were one with me. I dreamed of them being with me forever. Sitting side by side in the quiet of the countryside, rocking away in our rockers, with our animals at our feet. In contentment we rocked. In peace we enjoyed each other’s company.
I envisioned a world where favors and support I offered to other’s would be returned when I was in need. I pictured the tug and tow of a boat alongside it’s dock. At times it pulled it’s rope tautly, and other times it came in close to relieve the tug on the ropes of it’s tied position. The waves rock it ever gently. Other times storms prevail and the nook of the dock and shore keep it safe and from harm.
As the years roll on and changes come about, I realize that I have surrounded myself with the ever daunting task of wanting to be loved and accepted by others, by giving and doing to other’s, time and time again. Only to come to this cul-de-sac in life to realize that I have been giving to so many who are not capable of giving in return. When life surge’s ahead, I have longed to have someone there to stand by my side, only to find that many I have chosen are friends that only arise during the sunshine of today. I dragged out this cycle of giving, seeking the return of love and support from other’s. Only do I find that I stand alone, with no one by my side, no friends to speak of, no one that cries out in acknowledgement of who I am or where have I gone, if I disappear. Soliciting for love and support, I only realized it is not all around that I must search for it, but it is within that I need to find it.

Copyright Sept. 2015. All Rights Reserved